| (UPI) - Cleveland. Robert J. La Brook, a 32-year-old muck-raker on Lake Erie, reportedly claims to have spotted a very large carp believed to be in excess
of 500 pounds and averaging 25 feet in length, while he was working today.The carp has been the subject of recent controversy at the Cleveland Institute of Carp Technology. Dr. Charles S. Lunch of the Institute says, "Carp of this size were believed to have been in existance thousands of years ago, but they can only be substantiated [by] a few fossil scales measuring over one foot in diameter. To believe that they still exist today is sheer nonsense!" La Brook, however, has
been deluged with phone calls and telegrams from avid carp fans around the world with hopes that what he saw was actually the benevolent carpicus maximus. Says La Brook, "Hell, it was the biggest darn thing I've ever seen. I'm a proud man to have been granted this honor!" MGM Studios has already offered La Brook an alleged one-milion dollars for exclusive rights to his story, which many belive he hasn't told in its entirety. They plan a movie about a huge carp that terrorizes the
beaches of Lake Erie by eating the mud and garbage that makes Lake Erie one of the tourist capitals of the world. |
Lunch and La Brook? Hmm, they sound familiar. Who could they be parodies of? Remember that famous quote following an overindulgence by the chief engineer: "Munch
a bunch of lunch, Wunsch?"